Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Kissa-e-mohabbat

Dastaan-e-mohabbat hamaari
Hai kissa badalte faasalon ka
Hum kareeb aate rahe
Aap duur jaate rahe

P.S> By public demand (see comments on the previous post)

20 comments:

Niranjan said...

Wah! Kya baat hai! Liked both the versions, tough to pick one as being better than the other.

Nocturne said...

hey, i'll stick to the english version. the urdu is not quite up to the subtle sneer of "you play hard to get" nor the self-effacing and dry undertone of "i play hard to want."
i like the "badalte faaslon ka" though.

shreya said...

arrey wah!

than you- i'll take full credit for that one! :)

though i agree with nocturne...and then, urdu wasn't meant for "dryness" or even irony...at least not irony without a romance...

and then, what do i know?

:)

Parth said...

@All: Thanks, and I am not too surprised at the reaction. Frankly, I couldn't capture the essence that well. Then again, Urdu isn't my strongest language ...

aabeirah said...

I think it's a lovely and very soft start. Kudos Parth. Badalte faaslon ka is lovely.

Parth said...

@Aabeirah: Thanks :-)

RS said...

Ok, I'll confess, I didn't quite follow what "play hard to want" meant...and couldn't figure out why it was self-effacing...?

But this Urdu verse is...sweet. Maybe it's the switch to a native language that did the trick but the lilting and familiar words tell a sweeter story than it's English counterpart... :)

Stone said...

Cool!!!
That reminded me of this...

"raat bhar deed-e-namnaar mein lehraatey rahey
saans ki tarha se aap aatey rahey jaatey rahey"

Parth said...

@RS: The irony was about how the protagonist has to try hard to get someone he so desires, and ends up being hard to be desired himself. It is a play on words, but the emotion is identifiable, at least per everyone's comments. I am glad you liked the Urdu version more, that sets you apart :-)

Parth said...

@Stone: Wow, that's so much better :-)

Shreemoyee said...

Talking about translations, Where is my chupke chupke translation?

Parth said...

@Shreemoyee: Yes Ma'am. Its on the to-do list. Will come through soon.

Lotus Reads said...

Splendid effort, I enjoyed both versions...although I will say I don't know Urdu or Urdu poetry well enough to critique the second one.

frissko said...

if 'hum kareeb aate rahe' and 'aap duur jaate rahe', then faasla should remain constant, shouldnt it [assuming equal rate]?...(ok...i shudnt mix up logic and shaayari:)...

liked the enlish too...but had misinterpreted 'hard to want' as actually trying hard to convince yourself to actually want the other person!!..(and kindof like it that way..)

Parth said...

@Lotus Reads: Thanks, though the second one is perhaps linguistically not as good as the first one. I have some ways to go there :-)

@Frissko: You won't believe that I actually thought of that when I wrote it. The curse of the engineering degree. I must clarify that the rates are entirely different :-)

sd said...

Nice attempt there. I have to agree with you though.

Pallavi said...

wah wah! kya baat kahi hai..

Mohit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mohit said...

Hamaare darmiyan
Faaslein tham jaate hain
Na hum kareeb aate hain
Na woh door jaatein hain

Is Amateurish-I don't understand urdu structure that well

:)

Parth said...

@SD, Pallavi: Thanks

@Mohit: I'd quantify as a good effort, my stuff being equally amatuerish :-)