Flash Backwards

I was watching the highlights of the day one of the test match at Brabourne being played between India and Sri Lanka and felt instantly nostalgic. The last time I was in there was in the year 1989 watching Australia play Pakistan in the Nehru Cup. 1989!! Given that there is a twenty year gap between a strong memory I possess and today, I must be growing old. I remember going into the match with my father, with the heightened expectation of seeing my cricketing hero in flesh and blood: Allan Border.

Imran Khan, Wasim Akram, Waqar Younis and Abdul Qadir formed a formidable bowling line-up for the Pakistanis and it was always going to be an engaging battle. These were the days when one-day scores weren't of the run-a-ball variety seen today. Pakistan went into bat first and scored over 200. Several times, Border ran back to the boundary to chase the ball and I jumped up and down in excitement. Wasim Akram hit a couple of huge sixes towards the end of the innings and I was pretty certain one of them was going to come in and hit me on my head. Thankfully, nothing of that sort happened and I spent the entire lunch excited in the anticipation of the run chase. Turns out the excitement was to end there. Imran Khan bowled exceptionally well and won the match for Pakistan. When the second Australian wicket fell, my heart lept in pride when the section of crowd I was in started chanting "Border, Border". To my rather limited worldview then, it was heartening to know that my favorite cricketer had other fans too. I joined in the chorus to the best that support my lungs could provide. Unfortunately, it was not to be the day I got to watch him rescue Australia. He pittered and pottered around for a while and ultimately got caught in the gully of Imran's bowling. When you don't watch a match from behind the bowler's arm, you lose out on so much of the details. In those days, there were no big screens on the ground and it was only after I got home and saw some highlights in the news on TV that I realised how much prodigious swing Imran had managed to extract from that pitch. It was not a match that had India in it, but I could hardly be called neutral.

There is something about that ritual: of waking up early in the morning to go to a cricket stadium, of a father taking a son along, partaking in the excitement and curiosity of the young one, creating memories that fire up after so many years. It is a rite of passage, a bonding ritual, a tender lesson. Here's to the hope that someday there will be at least one more trip to Brabourne, by a father and son with the last name Pandya. Perhaps twenty years after that, that son might reminisce the occasion as fondly.

Color Me Grey

One man’s nectar is another man’s poison. Water drowns some but is the lifeline for others. The air we breathe slowly saps the life out of us. We live, in a slow march towards death. In life, everything is good and the same is bad. Good can be evil as much as evil can be good. If it’s all about context in which things exist, why is life painted in simplistic tones of black and white? Color me grey. It’s the color of the clouds on the horizon. It’s the harbinger of the night and the limpid pools of refreshment that splash on the thirsty earth. Color me grey. It is wisdom and decay, youth and old age, a little bit of my past and a sampling of my future. Color me grey. Black and white find sanctuary in it.

Jigsaw Puzzle

They hunched their backs in unison,
And contemplated the carelessly strewn pieces.
A thousand tiny bits of the puzzle,
Asking to be arranged.

Striving to reach the previous perfection;
The fragile harmony;
That existed on a box cover:
A happy home bathed in sunlight.

As they picked up the pieces,
A bitter-sweet thought escaped them,
There’s such joy in metaphors.

From My Mind To Yours

Thoughts approximated;
Turn to feeling.
Feelings approximated;
Appear as words.
Words approximated;
Form reading material.
Reading approximated;
Forms subjective opinion.

With such levels of indirection,
Is it a surprise that
so much gets lost in translation?

Where in the world is Parth?

What a liberating feeling to finally have something written in this space! The last month has been a roller-coaster of gargantuan proportions. There were several times I started writing something but then rescinded it at the stage of drafting it. I guess it was an instructive lesson on the creative process. There’s only a certain level of chaos within the boundaries of which I can create something fresh. So, what exactly has Parth been upto the last month? A big part of it has been the travails of the offspring with daycare: the difficulties with adjusting to the daycare followed by an interminable set of illnesses which had him and us in all kinds of stress. The months of October and November are supposed to be the worst for infections and we are bearing the brunt of it. Your child’s firs t major illness is an experience that will stress you out and teach you a lot at the same time. Thankfully, things seem to be settling down a little but right now. In between the stresses, our family (yes, baby included) made it to the finals of AID Antakshari, which was a lot of fun. Then came around the India Quiz, a feature that is becoming a part of the annual quiz calendar in Seattle. As a lead up to the India quiz, a friend and I were running a mini-contest called AQAD (A Question A Day) to stir up interest for the event. That took up a couple of weeks of my time. Ultimately, the event came and it turned out to be an evening to remember. With all due humility, I accept your congratulations! You are talking to the one half of the India Quiz winning team J This was such a sweet comeback after failing to even qualify last year. To top it all, I finally have a trophy for a quizzing event despite all these wins through college and beyond, which were a lot of cash prizes and certificates. Something to show my little boy when he grows up. In the midst of all the craziness was one of the busiest phases at work. Managing work amidst the new constrained schedule involving the predictable nature of daycare and the unpredictable nature of illnesses is a new challenge we are getting used to. That being said, I think the only way this blog will continue is if manage to carve out special time to do this unlike previously where time was more readily available, whether at work, or at home. Will make that attempt. See you around: here, and your blogs too!

The First Nine Months Of Parenting

There is no school that can teach you parenting. You can farm the web for tips and tricks, you can get heeded and unheeded advice from your parents and your peers, or, you can quote this blog post going forward. Being a parent, I am exercising my sense of entitlement and projecting my thoughts on this fairly new role.

There are some caveats to this thought blurb:
1. You will hear me generalize all my statements as if each of these is a truism that applies to all kids. However, I have experience with only one: my own.
2. It is also true that no two kids are the same. Hence, if any of my statements don’t seem accurate, I am still right.

Nine months have passed since the birth of my son. When I compare the 18 months of his existence, the post-interval period seems to be as exciting and as mysterious as it was when he kicked and tossed and turned in his mother’s tummy. These are some thoughts from the time he first let out a cultured cry as a means of introducing himself to the world. Life is brilliant as a parent, but there are a lot of changes too. Here are some reflections, tips and tricks from the first nine months.

· Time becomes an inconsistent entity after the birth of a baby. It flies when you are in the midst of the feeding/cleaning/sleeping cycle. It is this unending cycle of consumption and creation that makes you realize why people regard food as so critical to their existence when they grow up. On the other hand, it slows to an extreme trickle in the middle of the night when the baby decides it’s time to wake up.
· You are engaged in psychological warfare with your kid. It is on, and it is the hardest fight you will be in. One that you are bound to lose. You may not believe it, but the kids are playing you; all the time
· Grandparents are fantabulous. They are a great blessing. They play with the kid through the day and then get equally excited watching his pictures the same night. Three sneezes amount to a cold and imply that the baby will be quarantined and given extra cuddling. They are there for the most important baby hand-off: at 5.30 am. You also see glimpses of how fondly they remember your childhood and visit it in flattering detail at this time.
· Grandparents are also your biggest curse. There is a saying in Gujarati that ‘The interest is always dearer than the principal’. They love this interest, and they spoil it rotten. They make you believe that handling the kid will be easy with work, and you don’t realize the magnitude of it till it hits you square in the face. They will have given the baby a taste of the good life, with undivided attention and extra pampering, which of course is impossible to sustain once they are gone.
· Putting your child in daycare is a tough call. It is the inescapable part of modern day immigrant existence in the United States where both parents are making a living. We try to delay it as much and attempt to rationalize the decision, but what stings ultimately is the loss of control. Handing off your baby to total strangers takes a leap of faith.
· Mothers should be banned from going to dropping off kids at the daycare. It is absolute heartbreak for them, and no logical reasoning can help resolve that. It isn’t that fathers find it a cakewalk, but they find it easier to rationalize.
· You suddenly wonder why you invested in so much furniture for the house, when your child needs all the space he can to crawl around
· Babies will crawl to the exact places you don’t want them to and touch the exact things you want them to avoid
· Parenting peer pressure is far more than any other kind you have faced till date. Everywhere you look, everyone is attempting to be a super-parent, and unlike other contests, this is one you don’t want to be trailing
· You will seek signs that will convince you that your child is a prodigy. I mean, you kid has your genes, and while you may never advance beyond being Joe the Software Plumber, surely your kid would have jumped up the evolutionary ladder!
· Watching a movie in a theater will sound like a dream come true, and you start preferring lunch meetings with friends rather than dinner
· Bachelors only hang out with bachelors and married people do the same with other married folks. That is a true fact. An extension to this dictum: you will seek other parents will babies similar in age to your child.
· The baby industry in this country is mind-boggling. There are a million choices for everything and they will convince you that each one of them is required. No wonder both parents need to earn good money here! Baby clothes cost almost as much as adult clothes do, with the shortest shelf-life possible.
· Someone had once told me that once you are a parent, be prepared to be embarrassed. Truth is, once you are in a restaurant with a baby who will make you stand head over heels to pacify him and feed him, that’s the last thing that will cross your mind. As parents, you will do and say things you never thought you were capable of. If you are not a good entertainer, you have trouble on your hands
· Remember the person who cursed the people with babies in an airplane who just couldn’t keep them quiet? Yes, that was you. Blank your mind to the thought that someone is thinking the same thing about you on this seemingly interminable flight.
· You need to carry your whole house with you when you travel with your baby. And be certain that you would have forgotten something behind
· Wildly reset your expectations on what you can achieve on an outing. It will take three times the amount of time to do the simplest thing.
· You start digging up yours and your spouse’s childhood photos to figure out resemblances. The question ‘whom does he look like?’ will have a new answer every week.
· The most annoying thing that can happen when trying to pacify a howling baby is four other people converging and asking, “What happened? Why is he crying?”
· You will know all the nursery rhymes (Karadi Tales in our case) by heart. In fact, you will be making up new songs as you go.
· Ban the car seat. Seriously. I understand the need for safety, but when a baby treats it like a prison, you have had it.
· You will need extra storage space for the million pictures and videos that you will take. You will document anything and everything and surprisingly enough, maintain that rhythm as time progresses. It also helps if your baby looks like he should be on the cover of a magazine.
· Your heart beams with parental pride so often and so quickly. Your baby gets compliments, he rolls over, he crawls; anything can get that going.
· You will call your spouse Mummy and Daddy as it applies, and being called that makes your heart glow.
· Babies have no sense of morality. No right or wrong. No convoluted biased decision making with an ulterior motive. It is funny how we strive all our lives to achieve the sense of purity we already had when we were so little
· Babies can make softies out of baby-agnostic people. They really do. Treasure them and spend time with them having unbridled fun, while they let you. Remember, as they grow older, they become you :)

Exhaustive and exhausting list? The latter may be true but the former is not. Who knows how different the next set of thoughts may be, if I wait another year to jot them down? Signing off as an exhausted, exhilarated and blessed parent.

Annus Moviebilis

There was Bradman and then there's me. Let's leave that statement while I digress my way to a long story. Statistics appeal to me. They jump out to me from real life. I blame my parents for that. When I was a kid, summer vacations were all about spending time in Surat. One way my parents kept me engaged through train journeys was to keep a tab of how many stations the 'Flying Ranee' would pass by between Andheri and Surat. That was the simplified version of noting the station names down too. So yes, statistics interest me. The number of stairs to get to my office, the number of cars that passed by when I wait to cross like an obedient pedestrian, how many runners did I run past in the half marathon, how many Indians work on my team etc. They are a good way to stave of boredom when it arrives and provide a semblance of structure to chaos. My favorite area though is cricket statistics. Everything comes a distant second. Statsguru in cricinfo is my friend.

The second digression arriveth. I watch a lot of movies. Always have. Not sure when I got to that stage not having had a VCR at home during the oppressive 80s, but movies have my attention. So yes, I watch a lot of movies. My wife knows that and gives me gentle reminders once in a while. But how many movies did I really watch? Was there a difference in perception and reality? There was only one way to find that out. I started a project last year on the 29th of August. This wasn't meant to be a public project, but now that I am at the anniversary, I thought: why not? I listed every movie I saw in the last year. Here's the list in reverse chronological order


Kinsey
Kaminey
Short Kut - The Con is On
Last of the Mohicans
99
New York
Becoming Jane
27 Dresses
Brick Lane
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Burn After Reading
Wall-E
Mamma Mia
Kung Fu Panda
Blue Lagoon
Trainspotting
Month Python and the Holy Grail
Monty Python and the Life of Brian
Gulaal
Little Zizou
Aa Dekhen Zaraa
Eastern Promises
Tropic Thunder
Angels and Demons
39 Steps
Wanted
Crimes and Misdemeanours
Highlander
The Jane Austen Book Club
The Visitor
Strangers on a Train
Walmart: The High Cost Of Low Price
Super Size Me
The Stoneman Murders
Vantage Point
Dil Kabbaddi
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Persepolis
The Elegy
Dev D
Iron Man
Billu
The Other Boleyn Girl
Victory
Goya's Ghosts
Superbad
Outsourced
Manhattan
Indian Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
The Reader
Sex and the City
Annie Hall
Wolf
Luck by Chance
Hancock
Maharathi
Dasvidaniya
Revolutionary Road
The Last Castle
Rocky IV
Lions for Lambs
Charlie Wilson's War
Sorry Bhai
Jumper
Ghajini
Oye Lucky Lucky Oye
Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi
Into The Blue
Yuvraaj
Ramchand Pakistani
Slumdog Millionaire
Fashion
Dostana
Quantum of Solace
Golmaal Returns
Kidnap
Drona
Welcome to Sajjanpur
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
A Wednesday
Hijack
Naked Gun 2 & 1/2
Mumbai Meri Jaan
Spy Game
Phoonk
Amu
The Notebook
There Will Be Blood
Bachna Ae Haseeno
Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic
Moby Dick
GhostBusters
Love Story 2050
Groundhog Day
Kismet Konnection
The Lives Of Others
The Great Train Robbery
Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na
Sarkar Raj


Not a bad number of movies given the fact that this was the 'most happening' year of my adult existence. I can't imagine what the number would have been in a 'normal' year. Of course, my tolerance for movies is infinitely more than most people, so you may see movies that you might find hard to survive. In an alternate life, I would have been a movie critic, if I had the heart to criticize movies :)

There's the temptation to drill down and analyze this list some more, but I will resist. One thing is certain: this excercise will not be repeated anytime soon. Wouldn't want to compete with myself, would I? :) On second thoughts, if I were to do this excercise for the books I read in a year, it would be a short and sweet excercise.


That leaves the mysterious start to this post: There was Bradman and then there's me. The number of movies on the list: 99!