Friday, July 06, 2007

Cosmic Calling

Eddies start to form,
On the surface of hearts.
Most fickle, most unsteady

The moon draws maps
Across faces already lit,
In anticipation

They unravel sky's mysteries
Using a few mirrors aligned
In a little black tube

Astronomers, Cartographers,
Pioneers, Adventurers,
Young Discoverers.

Spotting the rings of Saturn,
A find worth its weight.
Three credits on the transcript

14 comments:

RTD2 said...

I loved it all but wish it had ended a different way. Very nice writing though...

Parth said...

@RTD2: Its funny you mentioned that, because I actually worked backwards on this one. The working title for this poem was 'Astronomy Class' and I started on it remembering an odd evening in Texas A&M where I had gone to an astronomy class with some friends. In my case, it was a one odd and had no bearing on credits, but I just took the concept further. Thanks for the feedback.

mystic rose said...

interesting poem.. esp liked the way it began.. the anticipation..

and then that three credits of transcript..

what about you? how did you feel? as i read in ur comment above it wasnt for your credits you did this.

mystic rose said...

actually I like it very much.. the three crdits of transcript doesnt take away from the poem.. just gives it an unusual twist.

The Pilgrim said...

Nice

Parth said...

@Mystic Rose: Thanks. Like you mentioned in the second comment, the idea WAS to give it an unusual ending.

@Pilgrim: Thanks.

Sparsh said...

liked the last line the most. so you started with the best one:)

this reminded me of a lecture I attended at IUCCA, Pune. Lotsa things about black-holes etc. found it very interesting but I remember walking out confused for many reasons.

Anonymous said...

its a lovely poem.. simple and unusual.. but then everyone is saying that. :)

~t
http://thejadetara.wordpress.com

Parth said...

@Sparsh: You mention Pune and astronomy and Narlikar is the first name that comes to mind.

@TheJadeTara: Thanks :-)

Rajarshi said...

finally! a blog poem that doesn't sound stuck-up!

Jyothsna said...

Nice end to the poem - didn't see that coming :)

Parth said...

@Jyothsna: Thanks. Seems like my closing lines are drawing contrasting comments.

@Rajarshi: Thanks. I seem to have met a high standard for blog poems. I am glad to hear that :-)

Lotus Reads said...

This was a treat for the star gazer in me, Parth! The ending is particularly memorable because it's unique, different. More poems please!

Parth said...

@Lotus Reads: Good to meet an star gazer who might know something about stars :-) I am stuck beyond identifying Orion's belt. Glad you liked the poem.