Frequently Questioned Answers

Ever been advised by an adult on the right things to do in life? The common wisdom passed down to us by generations? I have decide to challenge that. If these pearls of wisdom were so effective, wouldn't our problems be solved for good? Wouldn't we be paragons of perfection? I guess we aren't. Its time to question the wisdom of the ages.

1. Grass is always greener on the other side
Hmm. It implies that when we get to the other side, we are always going to be dissapointed. Hence, we should never try anything else, because we know that we will find that we are doing is better than what we will be doing. By the same token, we should not be doing what we are doing because not doing it was a better option in the first place. Oh, I am already lost.

2. Hard work always pays
Yes, it does. It pays towards my company's profits.

3. We are constantly evolving
Into what? The more I see around me, we are evolving to sufficiently drive us on the path of destruction. Would we be completely evolved when we would have burned up massive holes in the ozone layer and left nothing to consume on the surface of the planet?

4. Sab Moh-Maaya hai (everything is an illusion)
That's wrong. Sab Maaya ka moh hai (don't expect to translate this, the charm is lost)

5. Contribute. Do something.
Disagree. Doing nothing is definitely doing something. I am not damaging the fragile fabric of the universe that way.

6. Practice makes man perfect
Tell is to the guy who took the car on the road the first time and ran over two pedestrians, a beggar, a dog and a lamppost. Life is not a dress rehearsal! Ask cricketers who were dropped after their first test match, or guys who must have stuttered to ask Aishwarya Rai out in school.

7. All you need is love
... and a car, a house, a TV, French Fries, Gulab Jamun, Tendulkar's straight drive, coffee ... don't get me started

8. Slow and steady wins the race
I'll remember to mention this to the 100 meter sprinters and Inzamam Ul Haq and all the tragic movie heroes who sacrificed their love for their best friends of brothers.

9. Looks don't matter
Aishwarya for President. Beauty versus brains. What would you choose if you have to choose it for someone else? Oh, this is a hollow materialistic society. You have to pay for two seats in an aircraft if you are too fat. Even Indians have stopped relating paunches to prosperous times. Most people are not normal. They are either too fat or too thin or too tall or too short. Show me one person who isn't measured that way.

10. Each generation is doing better than the previous one
Yes, we have more devices to complicate our lives. We have more luxuries and die sooner. We spend half of our lives staring at a screen or trapped inside metal coffins we call cars. We love and have heartache, and love and break our hearts again and decide that cynicism will prolong our lives. We are so uncomfortable with our inferiority to nature that we trample it, and become urban warriors. Oh yes, we are getting better each day!