It has been a long time since my only attempt at haiku on this blog. I remember a suggestion made to add titles to the haikus, but I think it takes away from the impact of the poem. I should also add that I tried to be true to the 5-7-5 syllable format of the haiku, but couldn't completely adhere. There also seems to be no consensus on whether syllables in English correspond to the sounds in Japanese on which the haikus are based, so I will use that as my leeway. Here goes. Hope you enjoy them.
Wind screams
In shrill whispers
A cracked window
Mind awakens
After the body
Hot coffee
I swing.
I miss. I sigh.
A dot ball
The journey ends
No parting sorrow
“My floor”
Blinds closed
I pull the plug
On the sun
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15 comments:
Stumbled across your site while doing a blog search for haiku. Very nice verse.
I learnt something new today..haiku..:). but nice!
i loved the haiku poetry !
Didnt quite get the "my floor" one though
brave soul - i last wrote a haiku in high school and that is very apalling as a writer, i know :)
thanks for the visit
cool one!
haiku.. guess the word emerged from the word i-q. such kinda intelligent quotes!
http://havetobehappy.blogspot.com
@Earl, Pallavi, Janum: Thanks!
@Radha: One of the key styles in haiku is to set a scene in the first two lines and then leap to something unexpected in the final line. The scene here is that of an elevator ride :-)
@Priya: As long as the writing itself is not too apalling, its all good. Thanks for stopping by.
is it something like 'Trivenis' as Gulzar calls them?
Not as good as your other works, I think, but pleasant indeed. :)
Aaah....now i get it...lol...im not always this slow :)
i like all of them! well done.
you saved the best for last, as usual.
i can see that you're an anthropologist's joy - the more you age, the more fascinating you get! :)
@Stone: Is there an example of the Trivenis you can point me to?
@Vi: Thanks. I struggle with the syllablic restrictions. Without them, I see the ideas form more clearly. On the other hand, it is the limiting nature of the format that is its beauty. Guess I am falling short in my own efforts.
@Radha: :-)
@Mystic Rose: Thank you very much!
@Nocturne: Fascinating is a loaded word :-) The last one: my favorite too!
Thats an interesting haiku for sure!! Loved it..
:)
I don't claim to know much about Haiku poetry, but I think a haiku always comes across as powerful because it uses so few words to say so much. You did very well on this one Parth!
@Movie Mazza, Lotus Reads: Thanks :-)
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