Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Interviewing Kareena Kapoor

I was on a self-imposed work-influenced break. During Thanksgiving, I was in Vancouver, Canada enjoying some really good Indianized Chinese food at a restaurant called Green Lettuce. A lot of Indian film stars have frequented there and in fact, it was inaugurated by 'Tiktik Roshan', as our Chinese waitress so enthusiastically mentioned.

I have been interviewing a lot of people of late for my team and it is something that I have really come to enjoy. It is definitely a skill that one needs to develop over time. Last week, I was woken up by an e-mail from the recruiting company which had on its title the name of a famous Indian actress. To avoid any legal issues, I am not going to mention her name, but it was mighty surprising. Imagine if you got an e-mail on a busy Monday morning titled "Resume: Aishwarya Rai". This actress isn’t Miss Rai and isn’t among the top of the lot, but is well known enough.

I sat down and wondered what would happen if I indeed had to interview an actress, let's say Kareena Kapoor. Here's how a hypothetical interview with her for a software engineer position would go

Me: Morning Miss Kapoor, how are you doing?
KK: Doing what? Haven't I told you I don't give interviews between shoots?
Me: Shoot me!! Wake up, this isn't your film set. You are interviewing for a job here
KK: Oh, is it? I must fire my secretary. I could have at least dressed for the occasion
Me: You ARE dressed. That's sufficient. Have a seat .... no, not mine, the one in the corner.
KK: Ok shoot.
Me: What attracted you to ...
KK:(interjecting) Why can't you let go of this topic? I have told time and again that we are just good friends
Me: ... Computer Science .... never mind. So, I see you went to Harvard ...
KK: Yeah, I went to Harvard for a course in microcomputers and information technology. I did it for three months.
Me: What happened after three months?
KK: They booted me out
Me: (Polite smile)
KK: (blank face, ruminating)
Me: (Awkward look)
KK: (bursts into laughter) Oh my God, I made a joke
Me: (serious look) Very well Miss Kapoor, let's talk about inheritance?
KK: (still laughing)
Me: Miss Kapoor .... let's talk about inheritance
KK: Oh well, I have inherited this talent from my family. I am the best, you know
Me: No, no I meant, if I had a class ...
KK: I don't know about you, but I am class act. If I were in Hollywood, Julia Roberts would have died to play my mother
Me: (in frustration) Ok, alright, can we talk about computers? How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 in ...
KK: 11, nothing more, nothing less.
Me: Would you even let me finish my ...?
KK: Are you finished? That's good.
Me: ...question? You are right though. I think I am done. I will inform Mr. Shah ...
KK: Didn't I tell you we are just good friends? Why should he know about this?
Me: (the last issue of Filmfare appears in my mind). Oh, not Mr. Kapur Miss Kapoor, Mr. Shah
KK: Whatever!
Me: You know, I am a big fan of yours. I thought you were mind-blowing in Khushi
KK: (face lights up) Really? I think the critics and the masses just didn't get the movie. Neither did they get tickets for it, neither did they get the DVD. ... oh hell, they didn't even get to the remote to switch the TV on. Mind you, 15 years down the line, they will be all calling it a classic
Me: I am sure, anyway, it was nice having you over. We'll mail our results in a week. Do you have any questions for me?
KK: No, but do let your CEO know that he needn't feel bad.
Me: About what?
KK: Losing his job to me, of course. You know, whatever!


phucker said...

Tiktik Roshan, eh? Goodie :-)
Heh, good interview - coincidentally, Kareena was very recently interviewed on TV the other day, so when I first read your headline I was thinking - "I don't remember Star TV giving an American feed". She came across as very 'behenji'! Karan Johar has this new show on Star TV where he interviews people (called "Koffee with Karan...hey I didn't choose the name). He interviews them in pairs, and some of the questions asked were pretty hilarious. Kareena and Rani Mukherjee were interviewed in this most recent episode. They took a poll of all the male film stars asking which of these two was the better actress - all of them said Rani was the better actress, but that Kareena was much sexier - to quote Saif 'She has a nice ass!!'. Then there was this 'rapid-fire' round of questions, where Karan asked Rani - "Name one thing Kareena has that you don't?". Pat came the reply: "Shahid Kapur". Hehe. I'll try and forward your interview on to her agent - who knows you may get to see her up close and personal ;-)

Geetanjali said...

Haha...this was funny! Btw the show mentioned above - Koffee with Karan? Appalingly gossippy..but then, what else can one expect frm Karan Johar?

Akruti said...

Haha,u r back,hmm,that show stinks da,karanjohar is a bundle of stupidity.and u r interview is hilarious,goodone parth

Parth said...

I read about the Karan Johar show before it went on air, and I would have liked to see the first episode (SRK and Kajol). I used to find Rendezvoud with Simi Garewal pretty frustrating at times, so this can't be too bad. Some gossip is better than false pretense that Simi Garewal used to put up. My Dad's cousin (about 5-7 years elder to me) used to teach Kareena computers when she was in Jamnabhai Narsee, so we had heard of her when she was in her 10th. Of course, there was no indication on what was to come :-) In spite of staying in Bombay and in spite of being such a movie fanatic, luck has it that I have never stumbled upon any movie stars in person before or after they achieved stardom, though I have seen quite a few of them. Tarun though has moved in interesting company :-)