Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Entrapment

“Come on, I am going out on a limb here”, he urged with an expression on his face which was a cross between a smile and a smirk. He had spent the better part of the evening waiting for the right moment to go talk to the lady sitting across his table by the window. She seemed like the perfect prey; an air of prosperity tinged with a hint of vulnerability, in control but just, and more importantly, alone. He could sense these things now, as if a divine eye had blessed him with an ability to see through the mask that people called a face. He had watched her intently like a hawk, staring out the window, sipping her coffee, checking her watch. Whoever it was that was supposed to have shown up hadn’t done so.

“May I?” he asked, and before she could answer, sat on the seat next to her watching her startled expression. The words followed. The gentle beseeching, the tough affirmations, the unspoken realm conjured by his moving hands. She had to fall for it. She never realized how her own expressions started to intensify the scene. The discomfort gave way to curiosity, then to apprehension, and finally terror as her fingers involuntarily reached for her cheek. In two minutes, it was over. He had her. As per plan. He stormed away from the coffee shop with a broad smile. While passing a car parked on the curb, he didn’t notice its rear view mirror. He would have seen a lady sitting by the window, alone, staring at a little white tube. Anti-aging cream.

17 comments:

Vi said...

He's cruel. :P

Loved this new bit from you. Easy to read, light, and a fun end (well, perhaps not for the woman).

Anonymous said...

:D

Hope u r not into marketing!
He can kill with his smile, wound with his eyes...heheheh

-Sparsh

RS said...

:)) Nice twist in the tale! Keeps the reader guessing till the end that something grave is going to happen...:)

mystic rose said...

Ah, the quintessential American salesman :)

I have my own little write up of this..

Parth said...

@Vi: Cruel or effective? Depends whether you are the woman in question or his boss?

@Sparsh: Not into marketing, but I'll take those compliments :-)

@RS: Its tough to come up with a surprise ending when the reader is expecting one :-)

@Mystic Rose: I think its the quintessential salesman, irrespective of nationality.

frissko said...

hmm...nice...you know, someday you should write a tale without a twist...and that'll surprise us:)...

Radha said...

:)
Anti-aging cream to a woman in her 30s is probably the easiest sale there is!

Sanjay said...

Nicely written, but isn't it a bit of a cliche to assume that a woman just cos she is aging will be vulnerable to anti-aging products?

But that is just a personal peeve and nothing against the great set up and lead up, was quite mysterious, till revealed at the end.

Lotus Reads said...

*applause*

This is a really very clever piece of writing Parth, great twist in the tail/tale, I so enjoyed it!

About women and anti-aging creams, I have so much to say on that...I'm tempted to do a post on it some day soon. :)

Parth said...

@Frissko: But I have written some other non-twist fiction. Check the humor/fiction sections. Guilty as charged though when it comes to the fact that I am thoroughly biased towards this format of having a surprise at the end.

@Radha: I'll take you word for it :-)

@Sanjay: The characters are merely props for this setting. It could well have been a man selling acne medication to a teen. I needed the two of them to set my story up :-)

@Lotus Reads: Thanks :-) Waiting for that blog post to happen. I seem to have touched a common problem, per majority of the comments.

Sridhar Iyer said...

Awesome. You should be out there selling Vista :-)

Parth said...

@Sridhar: Looks like it's selling anyway, based on the first quarter earnings.

Pallavi said...

ahh, i missed this interesting story earlier! you should be in marketing/ad world.

Parth said...

@Pallavi: Der aaye, durust aaye. I'll consider that career option once my software job stops paying me or challenging me :-)

Lotus Reads said...

Hi, Parth!

Just wanted to wish you a happy Diwali and enjoy the movies! I honestly don't know if I can do both movies on the same day, but I am going to try! :) If I had to choose between the two it would "Saawariya" but I'm in the minority, everyone else seems to prefer the SRK one.

Niranjan said...

Enjoyed this! Nice build-up leading to the end. I wonder if he was really a salesman (10 mins selling 1 anti-aging cream), probably just a poseur :-)

sd said...

Happy Diwali!